THE LENNY BRISCOE II REPORT

                                                  Football season is almost over. The highlight for me will be the Manchester City vs FC Barcelona Champions League 2nd round game at the Etihad stadium...and a selfie with Lionel Messi. Not in the usual way though... I was in a queue at the Tesco close to the Etihad stadium impatiently waiting to be served by the staff. I noticed two youths, in their late teens, clad in black at the front bit of the queue, glaring at me or so it seemed. I thought they were trying to knock my confidence initially, so I put my game face on and stared back at them. Then belatedly, I realized that they seemed to be looking through me. I may well have been invisible to them. I turned around and noticed for the f...

                           So a supposedly “straightforward routine” turned out to be a “major surgery” and an overnight stay in a hospital for my partner and 36 hours of an inadvertent bonding session with my 9 month old daughter. I had almost forgotten how the insides of a hospital looked like and smelled like (thank God)  and as we went to see the specialist, I was grateful that we were in for a “straightforward routine”. There was the usual bit of delay – no, in fact there was a very lengthy delay. When my partner’s name was eventually called out by the immaculately dressed nurse, my sigh of relief must have been audible from 50 yards away, I checked my watch, knowing I’d be able to get out and get in the day job soon. In the mean time, there was the small issue of taking care of, entertaining and engaging a surprisingly energetic 9 month old until my partner was done. Another 45 minutes late...

                                      RUBBISH REASON WHY GHANA CAN BEAT EGYPT Growing up in Tema, Ghana, we saw lots of footballers come and go. Mostly, good ones. Oh, you didn’t know? Tema has produced generation after generation of world-class footballers for Ghana. Think Joe Addo, Simon Addo, Ishmael Addo, Daniel Addo, Sebastian Barnes, Shamo Quaye(I bet you didn’t know he was Tema-based, did you?), Paa Joe Kuma, Attakora Amaniampong, Abdul Razak Ismail, Joe Fameyeh, Matthew “Klinsmann” Amoah etc etc. Even the bronze-winning Ghana U-20 side that played in the recent World Youth Tournament in Turkey (2013) had no less than SEVEN Tema-based “youngsters”. Fact. Now, when we growing up, there was an already grown-up neighbourhood champion footballer who had a call-up into the senior national team. I am not going to confirm if his ...

                                     TOP 10 BLASPHEMOUS NAS LINES   by Lenny Briscoe II *Before the ignorant start screaming “hater,hater” I have probably BOUGHT more Nas albums than them.( I had to state that). NASIR BEN OLU DARA JONES – One of the most prolific hip-hop artistes of our generation.   Nas A.K.A. God’s son has an obsession with the real God’s Son and God the Father in a way that could only be likened to Kanye West’s obsession with Michael Jackson. Thankfully, he has left out the Holy Ghost in his outrageous utterances. (Perhaps fully aware that blasphemy against the Holy Ghost is the only unpardonable sin in the scriptures . Truth! (Smart,innit?) Apparently, Nas has had flings with both Christianity and Islam i.e. practised either or both at one time or the other. ...

                                                        BOTTLES OF NINE by Morgan Reed There was once an old woman called Daisy she was incredibly lazy she liked to drink wine in bottles of nine and sometimes this sent her crazy Now we thought she might change but she became more deranged and fell to the floor in a heap then she met Sam a wonderful man and it made her heart go beep One night while drunk she met up with a hunk and found out his name was Sam they had a dance and started a romance and by chance she's now in Ghana Now Donna has met Sam she's as quiet as a lamb and only drinks wine by the case She's taught Morgan to dance while wearing short pants and has a soft look ...

                                     E-MAIL ADDRESSES AND YOU So I couldn't get any of my two favourite artists to do work for me. I did a mini-advert on Facebook. So a man said he could do wonders with graphic designs and I asked for his contacts. His e-mail address was yah_niggah@yahoo.com. That made me laugh but it made me wonder if his business associates would ever take him seriously. Days later, I had to deal with someone whose e-mail address was platinumprick@yahoo.com. I suggested-no-insisted that he closed the account and create a new one, which he did. In hindsight, I wonder why I had done that. Who died for me to play God? OK, maybe I was just over-concerned for him. Back of my mind, I thought no one could top that. Well, until I had to send some important documentation to a lady who had blo...

BE, be here be there Be that, be this Be grateful for life, be grateful to life Be gleeful everyday, for being the best swimmer among 500,000 Be-nign, be you Be mom's mean pie, be little Black Sam Bo with bad hair Be aware of what a "lynch" is, Be, be boundless energy Be a four-star ghetto general, Be no one except "I" Be food for thought to the growing mind, be the author of your own horoscope Be invited, be long-living, be forgiving, be NOT forgetful Be a proud run, only to return to fight another day Be peaceful if possible, but justice in any means Be high when you low, be on time but know when to go Be cautious of the road to college, taking a detour through vietnam or the middle east Be absent of wars at any past or present fought amongst themselves Be visual of foreclosure over your shoulder while beggin g a nation built on free labor for reparation Be a cartopogropher ; be a map maker, be able to find afro-american man Search thoroughly i...

How (in)appropriate that Luis Suarez and John Terry allegedly(and I say that carefully), chose to use October-the so-called Black History month-to peacock their true racist colours! On a serious note though, these issues will be relevant no matter what month they occured(that is, if they actually did occur). Why? Some people genuinely want to see the back of racism in football and sport in general, for the more optimistic.(As if that is even possible!). The majority though, are not fussed, they just delight in seeing the demise of fellow humans. Especially when they are public figures or celebrities(what does that word even mean?!). The Luis Suarez/Patrice Evra issue is a case of "your word against mine", so it is near-enough impossible to prove. Unless of course, there are hidden mini-microphones in Mr Evra's captain's armband or the corner flag where he and Mr Suarez spent most of the afternoon that match-day(no offence). Now to Captain John Terry; Chelsea Club cap...

Love and hatred, home is most sacred Both species, they lay naked in the tombs of oasis Think back on brothers I ate with, spent the day with Guns we played with, people I relate with We broke bread, I heard through a vine these brothers work for Feds Sent out secretly to take my head I lay back and meditate to the words they say Skipped town for a month and grew full dreads Had a friend tell my family I was dead Returned at the last fall of the autumn leaves Operate the plan accordingly, in case the Feds are recording me Signed all documents, using forgery, because just the mere thought of me I'm like Solomon , spoke bluntly; told the world I'm BLACK and comely Howls from the grave haunt me The smell of death's upon me, I dwell in the hills like Gandhi Been in the presence of mad peasants, and old kings who sold everything, on a quest for God's divine Slept in caves to get a clearer mind who prayed three times, when the moon lit and when the sun rise I met dwellers i...

In 2009, Paris, the venue, France faced Ireland in a World Cup play-off. Thierry Henry handled the ball twice before setting up William Gallas for the winner that put France through for the 2010 World Cup held in South Africa. The whole football world went haywire. Thierry Henry had gone from hero to zero. He was being demonized by every pundit, analyst, and self-righteous commentator across God's green Earth. It was as if he had never set the Premier League alight with silky skills. It was as if he had never won all the medals football has to offer. It was as if admitting to the handball wasn't enough. You know why? Well, because cheating against the Irish to deprive them a place at the World Cup(as if that was even guaranteed) made every other positive achievement by Henry(and indeed France) count for nought. Well, two years on and Mr Trappatoni's team faced Armenia. Both teams in a position to reach the play-offs in a bid to qualify for Euro 2012. With the score at 0-0 ...