SPECIAL DELIVERY II
The poor delivery man looks from one man to the other, contemplating his next move. To his relief, one of the strangers volunteers to sign for the items. And why not? He probably placed the order. The driver gets in his humongous van and speeds off leaving the contraband goods behind. His work is done and he has targets to meet.
Kojo K’s eyes do not stray off the electronics for a second through it all.
What am I to do in this extraordinary meeting?
“Hey guys, I am here to witness you being gangstered after you gangstered someone’s credit card”?
“Hey guys, can I ask why you do this”?
“Hey guys, how much do make a year off of this?”
“Kojo, why didn’t you refuse delivery?”
My thoughts are interrupted by a loud but empty threat issued by the brother who signed for the items.
“If you don’t give us our parcels, we will call for reinforcement.”
I look at Kojo K before we simultaneously roar with laughter. Are these guys for real?
BLUFFING
The other one, evidently disappointed by his mate’s rush approach, tries something more drastic. “I’ll place a voodoo hex on anyone who uses or sells on these products. I can invoke spirits. I dabble in juju.”
“Go on. I’ll wait” is Kojo’s reply.
It hadn't worked. It was their turn to look at each other.
BARGAINING
“OK, OK brothers. Listen now. The white man has robbed us for centuries. They have stolen gold, diamonds, lands and oil and every other resource and even our ancestors for 400 years. What’s a credit card? This is not fraud, this is reparation.”
“You are wasting your time. Even worse, you are wasting mine” Kojo replies.
“How about you take one you give us one, eih? Take the TV give us the PS4 or vice versa. Good deal innit?”
No response.
BEGGING
He switched mode again. “Alright oga, I beg you now... I don’t usually do this... I’m begging you. It’s an emergency and I need the money. I have no use for a PS4... Think about my little boy who needs new shoes and other stuff. My father is not in a great shape either... I’m his pension. I take care of him. I’m all they have. Have mercy please...” etc
I am as fascinated as I am amused. This guy is one helluva actor. A true pro. You need that ability in his chosen profession (scamming). I am almost certain that he’s pulled off more complicated schemes in the past.
Yet, there comes a juncture when you have to admit you haven’t won. This lot were at that point. The bolder of the two asked “out of curiosity, what are you going to do with this?”
Well, what was Kojo K supposed to do with this?
“I’ll donate it to charity” was his response.
The internet killers laugh for the first time. They turn to stroll away. They are a bit nonchalant for people who have been gangstered out of their electronics. They had been apoplectic initially but they just seemed to resign themselves to their fate. They had tried but failed but hey life goes on. And they knew there will be more where that had come from on another day. “Eih Oga charity!” one hollered while waving at Kojo K with mock enthusiasm.
This is where the story ends. It’s up to you, my friend, to imagine which charity the electronics ended up at...
Kojo K’s eyes do not stray off the electronics for a second through it all.
What am I to do in this extraordinary meeting?
“Hey guys, I am here to witness you being gangstered after you gangstered someone’s credit card”?
“Hey guys, can I ask why you do this”?
“Hey guys, how much do make a year off of this?”
“Kojo, why didn’t you refuse delivery?”
My thoughts are interrupted by a loud but empty threat issued by the brother who signed for the items.
“If you don’t give us our parcels, we will call for reinforcement.”
I look at Kojo K before we simultaneously roar with laughter. Are these guys for real?
BLUFFING
The other one, evidently disappointed by his mate’s rush approach, tries something more drastic. “I’ll place a voodoo hex on anyone who uses or sells on these products. I can invoke spirits. I dabble in juju.”
“Go on. I’ll wait” is Kojo’s reply.
It hadn't worked. It was their turn to look at each other.
BARGAINING
“OK, OK brothers. Listen now. The white man has robbed us for centuries. They have stolen gold, diamonds, lands and oil and every other resource and even our ancestors for 400 years. What’s a credit card? This is not fraud, this is reparation.”
“You are wasting your time. Even worse, you are wasting mine” Kojo replies.
“How about you take one you give us one, eih? Take the TV give us the PS4 or vice versa. Good deal innit?”
No response.
BEGGING
He switched mode again. “Alright oga, I beg you now... I don’t usually do this... I’m begging you. It’s an emergency and I need the money. I have no use for a PS4... Think about my little boy who needs new shoes and other stuff. My father is not in a great shape either... I’m his pension. I take care of him. I’m all they have. Have mercy please...” etc
I am as fascinated as I am amused. This guy is one helluva actor. A true pro. You need that ability in his chosen profession (scamming). I am almost certain that he’s pulled off more complicated schemes in the past.
Yet, there comes a juncture when you have to admit you haven’t won. This lot were at that point. The bolder of the two asked “out of curiosity, what are you going to do with this?”
Well, what was Kojo K supposed to do with this?
“I’ll donate it to charity” was his response.
The internet killers laugh for the first time. They turn to stroll away. They are a bit nonchalant for people who have been gangstered out of their electronics. They had been apoplectic initially but they just seemed to resign themselves to their fate. They had tried but failed but hey life goes on. And they knew there will be more where that had come from on another day. “Eih Oga charity!” one hollered while waving at Kojo K with mock enthusiasm.
This is where the story ends. It’s up to you, my friend, to imagine which charity the electronics ended up at...
Good read as always B
ReplyDeleteBig up Q.
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