SAVING A LIFE
I like to watch football where I watch football in Longsight, Manchester although I live in a different area.
Maybe it's because there are some ever-presents with genuine tactical nous who drop analysis that could give Andy Gray a run for his money. Hell, sometimes they give a whole me a run for my money like I had any.
Maybe it's because of the few partisan noise-makers who run free but unsolicited commentary, waffling on and on about contentious refereeing decisions and other stuff only they can see or think they can see anyway. And perhaps I frequent this football spot because of the comedic value they bring.
There is another issue that makes this venue stand out head and shoulders as far as TV football venues are concerned; i.e. this joint serves up more drama than ITV 2 daytime. Take for instance the tail end of last season. There were 3 major incidents in just a month;
1. One time a lady walked in searching for Carlos - an elderly former Pastor turned consultant for the punters next door. He made predictions, won them money and they revered him. Carlos has this special gift that makes him a walking, talking version of Paul the Octopus (RIP). Anyway, this lady was threatening - no, promising - to take the life or at least maim poor old Carlos. The cause of her rather baffling behaviour? We will never know. Fortunately for Carlos, he was nowhere to be seen that night. According to staff that work at the football venue, it was the first time in about two years that Carlos had not been there at that particular time of the evening. I have since seen Carlos but I never set my eyes on the lady again.
2. On another occasion, a "gentleman" walked in stark naked - not even a pair of socks or a condom on. He acted so normal that on-lookers doubted their own sanity. It took about 10 minutes for staff to approach him. Even then he expressed himself in a totally calm, intelligible and composed manner. It was only when the police arrived that the beast came out of him. Within seconds, he was hollering and howling like a rabid dog as if he had been waiting for them to bring out that performance. He bounced back and forth and taser-happy police interpreted that as cue. They zapped him a few times and he got right back up on his feet on each occasion apart from the fourth. He had had enough by then. As he lay shivering at the back of the police van, struggling to catch his breath, people put their mobile phones away and turned the TV volume back up. It was business as usual.
3. Then at the end of last season, a major incident occurred; a young man was seen dancing outside the spot to some Afrobeats tracks. He was a known ex-con that lived locally. In his right hand was a gun that he was waving around to the beat. The manager picked up the phone and she had barely hang up when police arrived. And boy, did they turn up in dramatic fashion. Armed cops pulled up in unmarked vans and normal squad cars too with dogs the size of men. He was cuffed as they lay him face down on the pavement. It was a mere two hours later that police made the Einstein-esque conclusion that the gun was a toy gun after all that melee.
Yet not one of the above events comes remotely close to what happened last week...
To be continued...
Maybe it's because there are some ever-presents with genuine tactical nous who drop analysis that could give Andy Gray a run for his money. Hell, sometimes they give a whole me a run for my money like I had any.
Maybe it's because of the few partisan noise-makers who run free but unsolicited commentary, waffling on and on about contentious refereeing decisions and other stuff only they can see or think they can see anyway. And perhaps I frequent this football spot because of the comedic value they bring.
There is another issue that makes this venue stand out head and shoulders as far as TV football venues are concerned; i.e. this joint serves up more drama than ITV 2 daytime. Take for instance the tail end of last season. There were 3 major incidents in just a month;
1. One time a lady walked in searching for Carlos - an elderly former Pastor turned consultant for the punters next door. He made predictions, won them money and they revered him. Carlos has this special gift that makes him a walking, talking version of Paul the Octopus (RIP). Anyway, this lady was threatening - no, promising - to take the life or at least maim poor old Carlos. The cause of her rather baffling behaviour? We will never know. Fortunately for Carlos, he was nowhere to be seen that night. According to staff that work at the football venue, it was the first time in about two years that Carlos had not been there at that particular time of the evening. I have since seen Carlos but I never set my eyes on the lady again.
2. On another occasion, a "gentleman" walked in stark naked - not even a pair of socks or a condom on. He acted so normal that on-lookers doubted their own sanity. It took about 10 minutes for staff to approach him. Even then he expressed himself in a totally calm, intelligible and composed manner. It was only when the police arrived that the beast came out of him. Within seconds, he was hollering and howling like a rabid dog as if he had been waiting for them to bring out that performance. He bounced back and forth and taser-happy police interpreted that as cue. They zapped him a few times and he got right back up on his feet on each occasion apart from the fourth. He had had enough by then. As he lay shivering at the back of the police van, struggling to catch his breath, people put their mobile phones away and turned the TV volume back up. It was business as usual.
3. Then at the end of last season, a major incident occurred; a young man was seen dancing outside the spot to some Afrobeats tracks. He was a known ex-con that lived locally. In his right hand was a gun that he was waving around to the beat. The manager picked up the phone and she had barely hang up when police arrived. And boy, did they turn up in dramatic fashion. Armed cops pulled up in unmarked vans and normal squad cars too with dogs the size of men. He was cuffed as they lay him face down on the pavement. It was a mere two hours later that police made the Einstein-esque conclusion that the gun was a toy gun after all that melee.
Yet not one of the above events comes remotely close to what happened last week...
To be continued...
Comments
Post a Comment