TOP 10 BLASPHEMOUS NAS LINES

                               GHANAIAN PHOTOGRAPHER IN NIGERIA Pt 2

As the security man ran towards us, my first thought was to leg it and forget the boys. If I was to run, where was I to hide though? I did not know Lagos town.

It was just us dwarves against this giant of a man. I silently said my prayers in unknown tongues. It must have worked because the photographer had the divine inclination to smile. Smiling was the last thing on my mind at the time. Yet, the raw aggression on the security man’s face eased visibly a notch or three. The photographer’s smile had worked!

When Goliath got to us, the photographer –who I’ll call Simon for now- launched into a narrative, talking about how beautiful the city of Lagos really was. He began showing off the millions of pictures he had taken to Goliath, describing each one elaborately. He hadn’t even let the Nigerian chip a word in. He was pretending that Goliath’s rush towards us was friendly and strangely enough the Nigerian was believing him. Finally, without warning, he skipped to the bit I had been dreading.

He attempted explaining why he had taken Goliath’s shot, that was when Goliath found his voice.

“Yes,yes why you take my picture now?”

“I did because people in Ghana would love to see all aspects of Nigeria.” Simon was the paradigm of calm.

“So is that all I am to you? An ‘aspect’. You think I’m oluku. Listen, my wife doesn’t know that this is what I do for a living. I don’t want any trouble.” I noticed that Goliath had switched to speaking the Queen’s English from pidgin.

“Why? Anyway, you don’t have to worry about that because even if she saw these pictures, she wouldn’t be able to tell this is you.”

“Do you know my wife better than me? Or do you know me better than my wife? That woman can tell my shadow without seeing me. She can smell me in a market full of people. My friend, erase that picture.”

“OK, I have deleted it. Any reason why you haven’t told your wife your profession?”

“Exactly. This is not a profession, oga. I went to University yet this is what I do to feed my wife and kids. People enter these banks as managers and I open the door for them and shut it after them. These were my mates and my juniors in school. I was hundred times smarter than most of them. Imagine how I feel. So when I’m leaving home, I wear a shirt and a tie and hide my security uniform in a briefcase that no one is allowed to open. I get to work thirty minutes before when I’m meant to start just so I can change into my uniform. So my wife thinks I work in an office up the city!”

THE PHOTOGRAPHER’S SPEECH

We walked back towards the bank and that’s when Simon warmed up into waxing lyrical mode.

“Boss, I completed University, did National Service and stayed at home for three whole years. I struggled to stay sane. I had to fight my family because they wanted to dump in a so-called prayer camp. According to them, some external (unseen) forces were responsible for me being unemployed.

I was at the end of my tether.I honestly thought dying was a much better option than living. That was when I thought of my childhood love – my camera. That was my passion. I had to do something with the talent God had given me. Whether or not, my skills could pay the bills was another matter. I had to start from somewhere. I begged my mate for the unused dilapidated wooden structure behind their house and converted it into my standing office the size of a lotto kiosk. I scraped together enough money to paint it. Then, I paid the local carpenter to produce signage for my cause. I invested in marketing and advertising my services. Before I even had my first client, I calculated mentally that it would take more than another year to break even. Never mind, getting my head above water.

My schoolmates would drive by and scream out “Photooooo”. The more I got upset at that derogatory nickname, the more they kept at it, so I accepted it. In the beginning, work was slow and I was working other photography jobs to support myself (carrying equipment for more established photographers etc). When the jobs eventually rolled in, I accepted them with gratitude. I worked hard and bettered myself at my job. I started getting contracts to shoot events for these big-time charlies that were previously making fun of me. Imagine. So I charged them in dollars and I still do. I am in Nigeria now shooting an event and I have already been paid my deposit of $1,500. I am doing something I absolutely love and I’m being paid for being on a holiday.”

At the mention of “dollars”, a few other security personnel came closer. They wanted to know what the plump, smartly-dressed man with the camera was saying. If they had heard dollars, then obviously whatever he was saying would make sense(cents).

Simon continued, “Imagine if I had given up earlier. So whatever you are doing now, just put a 100% into it. I mean you can do another job on the side, if you so feel but make sure you are putting a 100% into both jobs. You are tired of opening doors for others but you just don’t know when or where a door is going to be opened for you. Opportunity doesn’t give a fore-warning so be alert.”

The security personnel had completely forgotten their duties as they soaked the wise words of Simon. But they quickly took his number and resumed their positions as he brought his speech to a close and actually beckoned him to take shots of them. They had been inspired.

Their smiles were priceless, my relief at not being lynched in Nigeria was valueless.

Will Write For Food