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 SOCCER SEASON SUMMARY – Lenny Briscoe II&Poison Pen Inc

Last football season will go down in the history books-but then a lot of things have gone down in the history books, innit? But no, really last season’s football was crazy.

The dramatic manner by which Manchester City put one over their local rivals Manchester United, the perfect pragmatism of a supposedly ageing Chelsea team and the struggles of the Mighty Barcelona made football all the more interesting.

Let’s start with the newest winners of the Premier League.

Mr Mark Hughes felt piqued about Sheikh Mansour giving him his marching orders and felt bitter towards anything Manchester City. I remember his child-like tantrum  when he complained that Signor Roberto Mancini-his replacement at the Etihad- had shaken his hands without eye-contact while the former managed Fulham.

Perhaps by happenstance (or maybe not), he was on the panel for Sky when the two Manchester teams met. And just as expected, he predicted an easy win for the team he played for but the Red Devils lost 1-6 at home to the team he used to manage. Months later, he replaced Neil Warnock as QPR manager, as fate would have it, the last game of his season will be Manchester City vs QPR.

On the day, with all games kicking off simultaneously at 3pm and both Manchester teams level on points, this was the chance for Mark Hughes to really hurt his former employers. 1-2 up with  89 minutes gone, it seemed like that would be the case until two quick goals in “Fergie time” handed the trophy to Manchester City.

So he had to endure having it being rubbed in, right in his face on his old stomping ground.

Chelsea with their multiple semi-final appearances and the ill-fated Moscow penalty shoot-out history looked anything but double trophy winners at the beginning of the 2011/2012 season. For four years, the team had been continously described as “ageing”.

With the likes of Steven Howard (writer), Big Phil Scolari and Andres Villas-Boas trying to retire Didier Drogba way before his time.

But maybe they don’t know the big striker as well as they think they do. There is something that inexorably motivates the striker to outlast opposition. He delights in leaving rotten eggs on the face of his detractors. Just ask Phil Scolari himself. Or opposing defenders who have been unfortunate enough to meet Drogba on a Wembley pitch especially or any turf in general.  The likes of Puyol, Senderos and Ferdinand won’t admit it, but they fear and respect him in equal measure.

Fabio Borrini, Claudio Pizzarro, Nicolas Anelka, Mateja Kezman, Eidur Gudjohnssen, Franco Di Santo, Hernan Crespo and Andriy Schevchenko are a few of the big names Didier Drogba outlasted in eight years at Chelsea. No one was going to replace him until he was good and ready to leave by himself.

Barcelona vs Chelsea games have always had drama. Before the 2011/2012 their meetings were split even in the honours stake- 3 Chelsea wins, 3 Barcelona wins and 4 draws.

Barcelona had qualified controversially for the 2009 final after drawing 1-1 at Stamford Bridge, pulling through on away goals. An aggrieved Didier Drogba hogged the cameras that night and let rip a string of expletives that copped him a ban.

So when Chelsea was drawn against Barcelona in the 2011/2012 semi-finals, football lovers just couldn’t wait. A goal out of nothing settled the first game in Chelsea’s favour at the Bridge.

The return game at the Camp Nou would have been far-fetched if Hollywood had scripted it. Within half-an-hour Chelsea were two goals and a man down as John Terry was shown a straight red card for a foolish foul on Alexis Sanchez as if it wasn’t difficult enough playing Barcelona with 11 men.

On the stroke of half-time, with their backs glued to the wall, up stepped interim captain Frank Lampard to the plate. A measured pass to the industrious Ramirez, had the Brazillian lobbing Valdes from 20 yards out. The next 45 minutes saw Chelsea defending like their lives depended on the outcome – and maybe their lives really depended on the outcome. The handful of Chelsea fans were even treated to a rare Messi missed penalty kick conceded by one Didier Drogba!

With seconds left on the referee’s watch, emergency left-back Fernando Torres who had had a torrid, terrible season replaced Didier Drogba. El Nino lost possesion to the Barcelona midfield, instead of sprinting back, he remained just inside the Chelsea half. After a scramble for the ball in the penalty box, Jose Bosingwa ballooned the ball out, just trying to waste a bit more time.

That hopeless shot was controlled from the Catalunyan sky by a beautiful Torres first touch, who run the whole half of the pitch to beat a helpless Valdes.2-2 it ended and Chelsea were in the finals. They had had two shots on target, both had resulted in goals.

The Allianz Arena(home of Bayern Munich) was to host the UCL final and since Bayern Munich had beaten Real Madrid, nine out of ten so-called connoisseurs of the game tagged Bayern Munich favourites. The game had a draw written all over it until the 83^rd minute when Muller put the Bavarians ahead. They had had 14 corners then. In the 88^th minute, Chelsea had only their second corner. Mata hit an in-swinger that Didier Drogba(who else) headed powerfully into the Bayern Munich net.

So next came extra-time. And as usual the Ivorian, who is peerless at entertaining and frustrating in equal measures kicked a tired Frank Ribery in the Chelsea box. Chelsea conceded a penalty and Drogba earned himself a yellow card. Petr Cech came to Chelsea’s rescue when he saved Arjen Robben’s penalty kick.

After 120 minutes, it was stalemate and it was time for the dreaded 5-penalty kick sessions. Juan Mata was the first to miss, so Bayern Munich had the advantage. When Olic-in his last season at Bayern- and Schweisteinger’s penalties were saved by Cech, the pendelumn swung in Chelsea’s favour.

It was time for Chelsea’s fifth kick and even before the cameras rolled towards the taker, everybody and their mothers knew Drogba would volunteer to take it. After missing a crucial penalty against Zambia in the final of the African Cup Of Nations that eventually led to Ivory Coast losing out in February -even though they had not conceded a goal in regular time-you would have though Drogba wouldn’t come near a penalty spot in the next five years.

But not Drogba. The two-time winner of the golden boots in England doesn’t know what pressure means. And with cheeky poise, he sent Neuer the wrong way and placed the ball at the bottom of the net. Chelsea had won against all odds. And to think they had previously lost 3-1 to Napoli in Naples and had lost their young manager Mr Villas-Boas all in the space of two weeks.

In fact, the interim manager Roberto Di Matteo was not guaranteed the job permanently even after winning an FA Cup and Champions League double.

This was the same season that saw Montpellier win Ligue Un. A team with the 13^th biggest budget in the French league and John Utaka as the main striker won the league. Imagine.

This was the season Manchester United went trophyless. Juventus won the Scudetto. Ruud Van Nistelrooy, Fillipo Inzaghi, Clarence Seedorf, Andrea Pirlo all retired.

Thierry Henry and Robbie Keane took a break from eating burgers in the States to score pretty amazing goals on loan for their respective teams in the Premier League.

Best of all, Sir Alex shipped Danny Gibson to Everton and recalled Paul Scholes from retirement and he didn’t disappoint; he sprayed his trademark 50-yard passes, scored some goals and sent a few opposing midfielders to the treatment table. They were not mis-timed tackles, they were Paul Scholes tackles.